I’ve learned that as “deep” as we intend to go with the awareness of our own thoughts and feelings, we have a tendency to keep it on the surface. We tiptoe around what’s uncomfortable and move on through not allowing ourselves to do some genuine and difficult reflection. But where most of us do allow ourselves to go in real deep is in our judgements of others. We can see the things we like and don’t like about others and break those things down to the last detail. As uncomfortable as this awareness sounds right about now, this is an extremely useful tool! Breathe. Listen to me here. The judgements I carry about others are most often the same judgements that I carry and do not want to accept about myself. (These are our shadow parts which we will go into later as well.) This happens to you too. This happens to all of us. Be gentle. Keep an open mind and start paying attention. Give yourself room to get to know that there may be parts of yourself that you do not like, that you do not want to keep or own, but are still parts of you. Keep breathing.
If you’re shifting in your seat and feeling some type of way right now, that’s ok. I am too. Just keep breathing. When you are ready, think of 3 people that you love/admire and list them. In one or two words, write 3 qualities you want to emulate that they possess. Now, think of 3 people that you hate/strongly dislike and list them. In one or two words, write 3 qualities that get you really angry and upset about them. On a separate sheet create a positive and negative list based on the qualities listed above. This is a pretty good place to find the disowned aspects of ourselves. Allow yourself genuine reflection before discarding it.
Where do these positive and negative traits show up in you?